Pearls in the Peninsula

I do my best to surround myself with strong men and women. My husband is a rockstar recruiter for a software company in the multi-billion dollar cloud market, our best friends are learning the trade of construction to take over the family business, my closest girlfriends are teachers, nurses, personal trainers with their own brand, directors of sales and marketing in every industry from hospitality to the male dominated golf business. My mom has her Ph.D. and is the best Physical Therapist you could ever have, one sister runs her own publication company in our area and the other is at the top of her field in the military. I like to be surrounded by success (and Champagne). One of my favorite mentors ever taught me to use people. To use them to make me better, more intelligent and aware of my conveniences and to teach me there is so much work to be done.

More and more frequently, I have found myself in conversations with these same people, and some casual acquaintances, that focus on Feminism, the Black Lives Matter movement, the Refugee Crisis, and all of the other imbalances in our society.
I discuss how important Feminism is and explain that if one more person says it doesn’t matter, or that the goals of feminism have been accomplished, or that they like to call themselves “equalists” instead of feminists, I’ll scream and burn my bra and tampons in a large bonfire while my long armpit hair blows freely in the wind. Ha. But seriously, no. It’s important to understand the inequality women face in our times, even in the West. I’m sick of hearing males complain about feminism because we are all “raging lunatics” when most of the time they can’t stand it’s a movement that doesn’t revolve around them. It’s called FEMinism because it’s about giving women (FEM) equal rights to men. People that call themselves “Equalists” prove that A. They have no idea what the actual foundation of the movement is, B. They care more about semantics than the actual objectives of the movement, C. They have no respect for the women who fought for their rights before them and D. They’re tacky and gross. Seriously, read a book about it. We have the right to vote and we can own property. Great. That’s it? That’s all we were looking for? Well, damn. Let’s throw a party! But, how about income equality?  Safety in public? Victim Blaming? Reproductive rights? No, it totally makes sense that an old, white man can tell me what to do with my uterus.  If you think these things don’t still happen, you’re wrong.  Do some research on these topics then, bookmark that shit, grab a glass of wine tonight and prepare to worry more about our generation than you already do.  If you don’t already worry, leave this site. You’re lost and I can’t save you. Also, this has not even scratched the surface of Bourgeois Feminism which I will save for another blog post. I know. You’re waiting with bated breath.

I discuss how ridiculous the opponents of the #BlackLivesMatter movement are. If I see one more person reply “All Lives Matter” to a “Black Lives Matter” post, I’ll scream. The Black Lives Matter movement doesn’t mean that ONLY black lives matter like Feminism doesn’t ONLY mean women matter. It means that under threat, statistics show that black lives matter LESS. Like Feminism, the Black Lives Matter advocates for equality by focusing on the underprivileged and under served group. Enough of the micro-aggressive All Lives Matter comments from the white and privileged. Racism is alive and well in our country and if you can’t come to terms with that, you are a huge part of the problem. As a middle class, heterosexual, married, educated white woman, I am treated very differently than those who are of a different race, sexuality or gender. The sooner we all come to terms with that, the sooner we can address the problem and attempt to fix the issue. Then there’s the Oscar’s and Black History Month. Good God the Oscars. To have a whole entire race excluded (which I understand has happened to many other races before), not because of talent whether you like it or not, is ridiculous. People claim that the host and the President of the Oscars are black so HOW COULD THE OSCARS BE RACIST?!? Staaaaaaahp. Using the example of two black people being represented is showing your stupid and you need to tuck that away. The Oscar’s are about showcasing talent of those in the film industry, those are the people that were left out. It doesn’t make it okay because they have a black host and a black president. Seriously? That’s your argument? Try again. Another favorite of mine is around this time of year, we always hear the same stupid question of “Well, if there’s a Black History Month we should have a White History Month!” My favorite rebuttal to that is and always will be: “We do. They just have confusing names like April, May and June.” Until black history is taught the same as white history, I believe it’s necessary. Until Americans are taught and appreciate the cultural achievements that has shaped our nations narrative, I believe it’s necessary. For heaven’s sake, most American Adults cannot name more than 5 influential black Americans because it is not taught in school, regardless of grade. If having a black history month is so offensive to you, you need to figure your shit out on a deeper level. We even gave it to the shortest month on the calendar! Maybe you’ll get lucky and it’s a Leap Year. Black History Month is the same concept as Women’s History Month (which is in March, mark your calendars unless you’re not in to that sort of thing), it’s not about repression and oppression, it’s about celebrating achievements.

I discuss all of these things with passion and every once in a while with a loud voice which apparently isn’t ladylike. The definition of ladylike is: “appropriate for or typical of a well-bred, decorous woman or girl”. LOLOLOLOL. Well-bred? What are we, horses?! Well, you know what else isn’t ladylike? The way I still have not mastered when I should cross at the ankles or when I should cross at the knees. The way I will throw a Nintendo controller at your damn face if you think beating me at Mario-Kart is in any way appropriate behavior. The way I can eat tacos and chug margaritas until most people around me want to vomit. No Ragrets.

So, here’s the point. Don’t tell me to calm down. Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter because I can’t change the world. Don’t stand behind the person I’m talking to with your eyebrows raised and your eyes all big, terrified that I’m about to turn into a hulked out Gloria Steinem and pulverize everyone around me with a penis. Don’t tell me arguing for what I believe isn’t ladylike. You know what I have to say to that? Fuck that. That’s probably also not ladylike but guess what? Grandma isn’t on Facebook and I couldn’t care less that you are offended by my mouth. (Just kidding. Grandma has a Facebook. I just accidently deleted her friend request and my phone connection happens to break up every time she asks me about it. It’s the weirdest thing.) If you can’t handle being around women that are strong, independent, intelligent, quick witted, and all around fucking beautiful unicorns, GTFO.

If being passionate and not being scared to voice my opinions about the inequalities of our society isn’t Ladylike, then I’m not interested.