Pearls in the Peninsula

When I decided on a whim to start a blog, I thought I would have a ton to say.  Honestly, I’m hilarious.  Then I sat down today and realized I have no idea what I’m doing.  ADULTS have blogs.  People care about what ADULTS have to say.

But, when are you supposed to start feeling like an adult?  I’m married, I have an amazing, meaningful full time job, I pay all my own bills (just kidding, Luke), I don’t have a mullet anymore (single dads…), I am looking at houses to buy and trying to sort through what exactly a mortgage is (seriously, what?!), I’m not utterly terrified of the possibility of starting a family (gross, I know), I’ve kept my dog alive for almost 4 years, hell, I don’t even have to pay an extra fee when I rent a car anymore! Yet, most of the time I feel no different than the girl I was in high school. So, to justify the last 26 years I’ve spent fumbling around this earth, here are the top three things I have learned:

• I’m going to disappoint a lot of people a lot of the time…and that’s okay. It’s about surrounding yourself with people that understand you aren’t perfect. I can be the worst friend, the worst daughter, and the worst wife but somehow I still have the most incredible friends, a supportive family and the most patient husband around.  So, do yourself a favor: Don’t be afraid to eff up.  A lot. Then look around you and see who is laughing while helping you out of the hole you’ve dug yourself.  No one is perfect and everyone is selfish.  If everyone was just so wonderful, what would we talk about during wine dates? Wine?

• Cosmopolitan is stupid. Seriously. Don’t read it. Or any other magazine like it for that matter. It might be that they have been posting way too many pimple-popping videos on their Facebook lately, but that’s not the point of this bullet.  Stop letting people tell you how to look, how to feel, what you NEED, what you want, who you should date, who you should be friends with, what you should eat for glowing skin or to reduce cellulite.  Read things that matter. Know what’s going on in the world. Be the woman that can talk about the refugee crisis, Sanders vs. Clinton, the issues with Defunding Planned Parenthood, Pro-choice vs. Pro-Life.  It doesn’t matter what you believe (there’s always going to be someone who will think you’re an asshole regardless), as long as you can back yourself up.  I guarantee you, no one will care if you know what “13 Things Make Guys Irrationally Horny” (shit you not, pulled that from their Facebook feed).

• Finally, I have learned nothing. Doesn’t make sense does it? I just spelled out things I’m all confident in above.  Honestly, I wish I emulated those things but I don’t.  I’m still terrified to disappoint people.  I still lay awake at night worrying about not being perfect. I second guess everything I do in my marriage, with my family and with my friends.  I still read Cosmo every once in awhile because reading about what is really happening in the world is terrifying. I buy carrots to have glowing skin, I buy the latest and greatest cream to apply on my butt (I’ll keep you updated). But, so help me God, one more damn puss filled, vile video and I AM DONE. You hear me, Cosmo?!

All in all-I’ve learned nothing in the past 26 years.  Maybe the next 26 years will be different. But, maybe not.  Either way, I plan to have a damn blast.